2005 Journal Entries

Archie had an appointment this morning with Dr. Stroud. The results of Archie’s CBC brought good news: His platelet count is identical to what it was Sunday morning, his hemoglobin is holding steady, and his white blood cell count and AGC are steadily rising, but remain within normal range. Best of all, though, Dr. Stroud said that Archie still has no sign of leukemic cells in his blood.

Before Archie was discharged on Sunday Dr. Hayes remarked that Archie was “out performing his protocol.” Neither he nor Dr. Stroud is able to palpitate Archie’s liver or spleen anymore, something I myself with no knowledge of anatomy whatsoever was able to do when Archie was diagnosed. Both doctors describe both organs as “all dried up.” This in the child who sent his cardiologist into a panic two months ago when the alarmed doctor called the hematologists to report that Archie’s liver and spleen felt inordinately low, a possible indication of leukemia.

“Well, he looks super,” Dr. Stroud concluded this morning after examining Archie.

Super, he said. Five weeks ago Archie was certainly anything but super. It’s hard to call him any other adjective these days, though. Archie is all over the place, “wide open” as his father says. He is more physical than I’ve ever seen him. So physical in fact that I almost expect him to get up off the floor and run across the room at any moment. And Archie’s eating as I’ve never seen him eat before. We can’t shovel his food into his mouth fast enough. He takes a bite and signs “more” before he can swallow what he’s already eating. Who is this child?

“He’s a new kid,” John observed this evening after dinner when Archie sat up “straight and tall” on request. “He’s absolutely a new kid.”

Next week Archie will have a port placed in his chest to replace the Broviac that was removed last week. During surgery Dr. Stroud will also perform another bone marrow aspiration. That same day, after he returns from the operating room, Archie will begin the second course of his chemotherapy. We’re not sure if he’ll be admitted Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, but know that Archie will be hospitalized beginning one of those days.

This morning I reviewed Archie’s yellow visit record while I was waiting to schedule his next appointment. I always look over this sheet after our visits, but today I really studied it. Usually the doctor lists “Transient Leukemia and Trisomy 21” as Archie’s diagnosis. Today it read, “Diagnosis: AML.” Right below that Archie’s “last chemo” and “protocol number” were recorded.

Sometimes I wonder how it is I live a life in which terminology like this feels as if it is no big deal at all. In what odd reality do I exist? How has it come to be that my perception of normal is so far a field that this sort of circumstance feels ok? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I do know that I’m happy to take this journey with my son if it’s the price we have to pay in order to have Archie in our lives.