payday loans
11th Aug, 2010

Right Now

A big yellow school bus just pulled up to the front of our house. I was in my office, on this computer, and thought our dog was barking because the mailman had stopped at our mailbox. But when the doorbell rang and I got up from behind my desk, rounded the corner out of my office and looked toward the windowpane in our front door, that big yellow school bus filled it’s frame and an older gentleman holding a clipboard peered back at me.

When he saw me coming that man stepped back, turned away from the door and began marking something on his clipboard. I stepped outside to talk to him, leaving our front door ajar. The dog stopped barking and slinked away to the back of our house, but Archie, Kit and Jack appeared at the top of the steps and raced their way down to the bottom where they crowded into the foyer on the other side of the front door to see what all the noise was about.

The bus driver was riding his route, he explained. He looked at his clipboard, checking his passenger list, and ensured that Archie lives here. Then the man recited the phone number on his list beside Archie’s name and I assured him it was the right one.

“I can’t believe there’s a school bus in front of my house,” I said to fill the silence between the man and myself as he stood close beside me, writing something next to Archie’s name on the passenger list.

“Time flies,” the bus driver replied as he stared off in the direction of the school bus and scratch the top of his ear with his pen.

He said he wasn’t sure what time he’d be by to pick Archie up, but that it would probably be early and he’d get back to me as soon as he figured out his stops. “I’m just out today, riding my route,” he said again before he stepped off my porch and I bid him goodbye.

“Is that my school bus?” Archie wanted to know when I went back inside the house.

“You bet,” I answered and when I did Archie started jumping around.

“My bus! My bus!” Archie sang out as his bare feet made a slap-slap-slapping sound each time he landed flatfooted on the wood-planked floor. His enthusiasm was muted only by Jack’s loud lament that he-wants-to-ride-the-big-yellow-school-bus, too, and-why-is-life-so-unfair-to-him-while-it’s-so-great-to-Archie, whaa-whaa-whaa.

Are you as amused as I am to know Jack sees things this way?

Right this very minute two short-sleeved white knit shirts and two short-sleeved and one long-sleeved white dress shirt with Peter Pan collars are in my washing machine, in the middle of a rinse cycle. These shirts belong to Kit and are part of her school uniform. Kit’s two plaid jumpers and her collection of navy blue pleated skorts and shorts are piled on the floor with Jack’s short-sleeved red knit shirts and navy blue pleated pants and shorts. I haven’t figured out yet what pieces each child is supposed to wear on what day, but I do know I need to have all of this laundry washed and ironed by first thing Monday morning.

On Monday morning Archie will begin first grade and Kit and Jack will begin Kindergarten. Archie is going to public school and Kit and Jack are going to private school, but both places feel like exactly the right ones for each child. I obsessed about Archie, Kit and Jack’s school placements before we committed to them, and I talked out our choices with John and my mom and dad until there was nothing left to say. I admit that there are moments when I can’t believe the twins are no longer preschoolers and I’m suddenly surprised all over again by the fact that Archie has graduated from the Meyer Center, but mostly this stage we’ve reached, my children and I, of growing up and letting go feels exactly right. We four are ready for whatever comes next.

Time flies, that bus driver said, and for the most part I agree with his assessment. Sometimes it feels as if Archie, Kit and Jack have been on summer vacation forever, but when I review the bigger events that comprised these hot and humid days in my head and string them together, one right after another, time blurs and seems to blip by at a breakneck pace.

My dad had open-heart surgery to replace his aortic valve, and I broke my toe, the middle one on my right foot. John and Jack went to Wisconsin with John’s brother Lewis and his nephews, Ellis and William, to stay in a farmhouse that’s been in John’s family so long it’s listed on the National Register of Historic Places. My parents bought a beach house on the Isle of Palms, and a baby copperhead snake found it’s way into our home’s family room late last Saturday night.

The kids completed their summer camps, swam, and slept out in a tent in their cousins’ backyard. One of my nieces, John’s sister’s daughter, spent Tuesdays with us, and another niece, my cousin’s daughter, flew down from New York City to spend a week with our family. My mom took Kit out to a dress-up dinner at High Cotton, and at the conclusion of Archie’s last day at the Meyer Center my voice wavered as I stumbled all over myself to thank his teachers for a really good year until Sharon, Archie’s lead teacher, held up her hand to stop me and said, “Don’t.” So I didn’t.

I played with my kids, riding bicycles with them around the driveway, pretending as if I didn’t see them when we played hide-and-go-seek, or squirting them with our green garden hose. We cuddled together on the couch inside our air-conditioned home and watched Little Bill on Nick Jr. and Dinosaur Train on PBS Kids. And I yelled at them, too, all three of my kids, when the day was too hot or my patience was too thin or something was bothering me that had nothing to do with Archie, Kit or Jack at all while time tripped over upon itself until we arrived right here.

Yesterday afternoon my parents watched Kit and Jack while Archie and I went to the store to purchase the items typed out on his class supplies list. He’d accompanied me when I’d taken Kit and Jack to do the same thing for their school last week, but for whatever reason the trip for Archie’s supplies felt different and I wanted to go alone with him. Maybe it’s because he’s my oldest child and I can remember when he and I spent our days together, just the two of us idling in a state of shared adoration, but for whatever reason sometimes I prefer to do certain things with just Archie, leaving Kit and Jack behind.

We made our way around the store, filling our cart with things like glue sticks and Ziploc bags, and when we got to the aisle with the pencil boxes I told Archie he needed to choose one and asked him if he’d like the red, blue, grey, green, or purple box. He picked a green box, one with embossed, interloping circles on the top, and asked if he could hold it. “Show me how to open it,” I instructed as I handed him his pencil box.

An older woman wearing surgical scrubs stopped beside our cart and I watched her watching Archie as he opened the box on his first try. “Good job, Archie,” I said, smiled, and then ruffled my son’s hair.

“He’s so smart,” the woman wearing surgical scrubs cooed to me before she passed by us, moving forward in the opposite direction.

As we were checking out at the register Archie told the cashier about his school supplies, and then asked her about the doors in front of us. Did one go to the office, he wanted to know. Does one go outside, he wondered aloud. She patiently answered his inquiries until I’d paid for Archie’s supplies and we were off again.

When we got outside the store Archie growled, covered his eyes, and then called out, “I’m shy!”

“You’re not shy,” I chided. “You just talked to that lady and you don’t know her.”

“I’m shy from the bright, hot sun,” Archie explained, laying his forehead against my chest. He kept it there until I lifted him out of the shopping cart and helped him into the backseat of our car.

Last weekend I watched a program on one of the science channels about black holes. Apparently there’s a debate among scientists about what would happen if a person somehow fell into a black hole. Although everyone seems to agree that a person would disintegrate as the hole’s gravitational pull overpowered the body’s chemical bonds, those scientists argue about what would happen to all those disconnected atoms.

One of the scientists interviewed for the program crafted a mathematical equation to prove that even though a person would be annihilated in a black hole, that the person’s atoms would somehow form an imprint along the hole’s rings and create smears similar to the kinds of groves you find carved into a record.

According to this particular scientist those smears would be collections of memories and in each smear the person would exist, unaware that he’d been devoured by the black hole and unaware that there were now multiple versions of himself spattered throughout the universe.

To illustrate this point the television program’s director filled a room with several images of the same man, reading different parts of the same book in different positions around the room. The different images of the man with his book were layered into the room, one by one, and the overall affect of the illustration was a little disorienting at first. I had to think about what I was seeing before I understood what was going on.

There’s a house we pass nearly every time we leave our neighborhood. It’s on a street that runs behind where we live. The house is situated on a big lot and I’m not quite sure what’s going on with the house and the lot other than to say that someone is working awfully hard in fits and starts to build both up and then tear both down. Whoever owns the place has a few yard statues, deer that sit and stand and a grizzly bear dressed in clothing that seems to be holding an ax against his side, and if you watch closely enough you’ll notice that the statues move about the yard. One day a ceramic deer is sitting in the front of the yard, leaning against a tree, and then a few days later that deer has moved back from the road and is resting near the house.

I don’t get it either.

But what I do know is that this morning those roving statues reminded me of the television program about black holes. And the television program about black holes made me think about the way Archie, Kit and Jack are growing up. Everybody always says that they can’t believe their baby is however old now. I’ve said that before myself, too. But yesterday at the store when Archie sat in the shopping cart, holding his green pencil box with embossed, interloping circles on the top, I didn’t look at him and think, disbelieving, “You are starting first grade next week.” Instead I saw Archie as the baby he was and the boy he’s become all at exactly the same time and realized this is just another moment among the collection of moments comprising our shared lives. We are here now, my three children and I, and we will be somewhere else next week, but we are still who we are and we are doing what we’re intended to do. Down through the summer and into the fall we four endure unchanged, stepping out without contradiction, moving forward and remaining resolute in our intentions.

“Time flies,” Archie’s bus driver said.

It moves forward and then folds over upon itself.

Responses

This post was like a big glass of wine after a long day…your words always relax and transport me.

I have been thinking a lot about Archie going to school this week as I started back to school. AnnaKate will make the transition in 3 years and I know it will come to fast. I can’t wait to hear about all of his adventures. I know that “shy” boy of your will win them over!

Kelly

To me it was a chilled Cosmo and a delicious piece of chocolate! Archie will own that school in no time flat with his ability to remember everyone’s name and him just being his Archie self. He is my sunshine and I am both excited and apprehensive to see him take this next step. I know he’s ready but I sure wish I could keep him just like he is for a little longer but time does march on and they grow up in spite of us. Good luck my Archie. You will be great!

Today I ran across a photo of Archie playing ball on the playground at the Meyer Center, grinning, actually unaware of the camera for once (he usually asks me not to take his picture). He held that bat out and looked like he could hit the ball clear across the road.

The photo reminded me of your blog, which is awesome, and really should be compiled into a book. Anyway, I love to read what you write, and so here I am.

Even though she’s 23 and about to be married, I remember vividly the first kindergarten day for my only child. Mothers always do see their children as both babies and as they are now and I think it gets more bittersweet as time passes. I can completely relate to your apt description of being sucked into a black hole, all those bits of time and me smeared about. But you’re right, they’re each just another in a collection of moments. It’s both hard and good to raise a child, and equally hard and good to let them go. Enjoy your babies while you have them. I think I will try to imagine that all those bits of time and memories are confetti, and it’s a parade. If you look up, the shiny bits catch the sun.

So often you manage to say things I didn’t even realize I wanted to say, but I read and think, “Yes, that’s it.”

Thanks for sharing. Hope your school year is off to a wonderful start.

Leave a response

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Categories

  • Lesbian sex with uma thurman
  • teen idols photo gallery
  • sexy lesbian schoolgirls licking tits
  • teen girls banging
  • silicone boobs sex
  • free cum on tits videos
  • thick leg porn vids
  • asian lingerie gallery
  • vids slut shemale
  • hot anal sex vdeos
  • mature hairy pussy pics
  • european young girls
  • oral sex full length videos
  • cheeta girl butt photo
  • naked young girl photo
  • spermed hairy pussy
  • asian porn free downloads
  • lesbian hardcore powered by phpbb
  • sex girls toilet
  • college girl fuck
  • couples sexual massage
  • asia porn star girl
  • male sex anal
  • boob lick video
  • xxx movie asian insemination
  • shaved pubic videos
  • sexy plus size girls layouts
  • free fingering lesbians
  • Oral sex problems
  • young teen girls jerk off
  • fucking sexy pussy
  • Hot boobs asian
  • Pig tails and big tits
  • cars and girls porn
  • blonde russia girls nude
  • sexiest ass video
  • teen blonde virgin porn
  • open source sex anal
  • free bbw huge tits lesbians videos
  • anal machine hardcore
  • s suck mans dick
  • free pictures of puffy nipples
  • xxx teen lesbian sex
  • matrue ebony house wives
  • college girls flashing videos
  • mile school girls oral sex
  • videos porn punk girls
  • teen xxx sex videos
  • free hardcore orgy porn movies
  • blonde hairy free video
  • kerry louise pussy prowler
  • amateur mature wives
  • movie girl interupted
  • busty hentai hardcore sex
  • rank naked girls
  • nude docters porn galleries
  • she fisted my pussy humiliation
  • shemale and male comparing cocks pictures
  • kelly brook free tits video
  • boogie biker rally babes boobies pics
  • Real teen nudist
  • womens petite patterns
  • girl orgasms videos
  • cum in her pussy then
  • amateur wife sex stories
  • free ir slut wife cuck video
  • Girls sex in car
  • very young girl fingers
  • young virgin porn free
  • free tanya hardin porn vids
  • free shy love asian porn
  • trixie teen hardcore video
  • sexy ideas for couples
  • Hot indo girls
  • arnold classic bikini pics
  • sexy young adult busty
  • transgender oral pics
  • mom daughter fuck videos
  • young ass boys
  • beautiful asian woman sex
  • free cuckold interracial movies
  • wife sex homepages
  • mature women fetish homemade movies
  • All big tits
  • underground hardcore porn site
  • Is it a sin to masturbate
  • sexy naked men wallpaper
  • young brunete pussy
  • tiny russian teen video
  • naked sexy chicks
  • amature wife tube movies
  • dirty anal dirty atm videos
  • Sex scenes porn
  • ride em cowgirl asian
  • pornstar krista leigh galleries
  • mother gives sex to son video
  • uk sumitted wife videos
  • asian porn sites affiliate programs
  • nice girl ass
  • real teens sex trial membership
  • lesbian amateur forum
  • litlle love girl xxx
  • japan beauty product alog
  • cp sex pics
  • videos ass licking
  • tiny anal girls
  • teen girl web
  • Emma watson sexy boobs
  • Ava devine double anal
  • glamour office pics legs
  • drunk girlfriends anal
  • Video x sex
  • wicked weasel bikini gallery
  • Rosaria cannavo nude pics
  • bare young pussy
  • blonde full strip video
  • white wife on black dick
  • huge tits striptease tube videos
  • black pantyhose heels fuck
  • whores who fuck s free videos
  • tight virgin asian pussy
  • lesbian scene erins erotic nights
  • porn naked anal free
  • japanese porn anination
  • cute nude teenage girls
  • young fit black girls
  • lebians seduce young girls
  • christian teen girl magazine
  • sarahs nude webcam hardcore amateur
  • asian girls are caring yan matchmaker
  • audrena patridge pussy slip
  • free porn images drunk girls
  • ly cao asian girl virginia uva
  • petite women patterns
  • tied up drooling girls video gallery
  • pussy fingering masterbation
  • austin o riley on black dick
  • hot busty asian tit videos
  • lesbian alice in wonderland porn
  • japan prostitute teen video
  • sexy little black teens
  • vaginas pussys and boobs
  • Girls video sexy
  • hairy pussy tv
  • pics of latino hairy butts
  • real topless neighbor video
  • yahoo videos blowjob
  • asian model loni nude video
  • japanese girls big breasts
  • japan new year picturees
  • blackjack sex tube
  • pictures of amateur women
  • busty amateur sex mpeg gallery
  • pics of surrender of japan
  • Blonde model nude
  • free ebony nudes pics
  • linda friday interracial cuckold tube videos
  • flix ebony thumbnail gallery
  • xxx shemales having sex with girls
  • black teens sex for cash
  • what you prefer ass or pussy
  • free videos youttube girls sex pussy
  • young girl anal stories
  • shave teen girl friends
  • boys fuck milf videos
  • young sex video free warez
  • artistic photos of young girls nude
  • hot blonde teenagers
  • nipping pics tits
  • amateur lesbian nubile first time
  • girls love their dicks
  • teen xxx search
  • free online black porn sites
  • ffree amteur mature group sex
  • sex vids black white
  • free sexy girls having sex
  • big ass black porn star
  • russia teen bikini
  • penolpie classic porn movie
  • mature cougar videos
  • best hot fuck video free
  • xxx irish teen slut
  • older man sexes young teen
  • Naked amateur teen
  • quality pictures asian
  • picture obese naked man
  • bangali teen sex
  • or butt sex
  • girls with fat tits
  • miosotis black ebony
  • naked girl self shot
  • video porn perteen
  • girls forcing guys to eat pussy
  • free pussy close ups shaved
  • interracial xxx movie trailers
  • Sexy blonde college girl
  • dildos her pussy til she cums
  • online teen video erotic
  • young and inocent sex
  • teen and s having sex
  • amatuer pregnant sex videos
  • pix teen boys fucking teen girls
  • free porn lick my cum
  • teen sandy first blowjob
  • trumpet players good at oral sex
  • pantyhose shemale tube video
  • mike jones sex tape video watch
  • pretty squirting pussy
  • topless hot videos
  • amateur teen girlfriend videos
  • old lady young boy sexstories
  • woman sexy asian
  • Very sexy girl dancing
  • mdma leading to group sex
  • wwe chyna sex pics
  • sexy bitch dancing naked
  • reeming girls ass out
  • free kinky amateur girl
  • streaming amateur mature video tube
  • crush video japan
  • Girls big boobs video
  • girls in black stokings
  • xxx teen batthing youth
  • free little ass videos
  • Girls with boob
  • white dick black teens
  • thailand pattaya party girls
  • skinniest boy fuck movies
  • Sexy hot girls porn
  • free video girl paid to fuck
  • comix erotic sex stories
  • young teen italian pussy
  • hot teen videos downloadable for psp
  • porn vidio gallery
  • huge breasts vids
  • Sex and the city movie target
  • watch naked girl strip free
  • free teens bouncing tits videos
  • amateur mx videos
  • sexual couples art
  • wife amateur fuck black
  • free global sex videos
  • free xxx rated adult porn
  • free adult homemade black porn videos
  • sex with sleeping beauties
  • married couples swapping for sex
  • large pics of sexy girls
  • fuck mature wife video
  • xxx free anal stories
  • naked girl sex video
  • Sexy nude photo shoot
  • naked redheads vids
  • free hardcore lesbian atk
  • naked buff men video
  • lesbian anal tube
  • snake in real pussy
  • bikini pool galleries
  • please bang my wife diamond video
  • teen hot glamour
  • free unscensored porn pics
  • young son touching his mothers breasts
  • Stupid sexy girls
  • young women wanting to fuck
  • Wife boobs sex
  • home movies licking the pussy
  • Nonnude teen model
  • free xxx sex parties
  • Teen anal video
  • milf fucking young girls
  • Hot juicy girls
  • cheerleaders teen pussy
  • mature movies of tits
  • black tinybopper porn
  • free xxx blowjob
  • vajazzle pussy pic
  • Naked crazy girls
  • xtube videos erotic male massage
  • black girls posing
  • dirty asian videos
  • anal xxx teens
  • Red head big ass
  • private webcam private teen blonde brunette
  • nude young girl models toplist
  • mature blowjobs free movie
  • Naomi nice ass
  • girls stripping slowly in videos
  • black girl lesbian sex wavs
  • girl with huge ass
  • women naked pussy
  • c teen xxx
  • girls cum compilation young
  • miss platinum pussy
  • sapphire blue blowjob pics
  • black demon and sex stories
  • free sex pics of school girls
  • london anal asian escorts
  • free big wet pussy pics
  • nice black ass
  • Nude video of reshma
  • x rated amateur videos
  • kaycee cruz asian porn
  • black blowjob swallow cum
  • home made pregnant sex videos
  • Cute lesbian pics
  • paris porn movies
  • real jailbait girls nude teen
  • xxx free video paris blowjob
  • wife deep black
  • kat petite free videos
  • latina babes masturbating movies
  • homemade amateur sex pictures
  • naked pictures of my stepmom
  • big fat masterbating black teens
  • bitch slap movie zsearch
  • die pussy der nichte
  • college amateur fuck videos free
  • amateur sex videos download upload
  • movie richard cheating wife
  • free blowjob video trailers
  • Girl caught masturbating in class
  • Perfect ass fucked
  • black naked girls sex
  • japanese party fuck
  • briana banks pussy pictures
  • attractive young girls
  • Pics of my nude sister
  • nude girls talking video
  • anal sex amateur pic
  • s with humans video porn
  • erotic skirt pics
  • sexy asian teen movie gallery
  • topless japanese free boobs
  • importance of safe teen sex
  • teen home made sex porn
  • sexy shemale mega cock
  • anal sex thai video
  • really hot black teens
  • Shoes in sex and the city movie
  • big black fat butts
  • black mad sex
  • adventures of a black girl
  • sexy asian girls cumm
  • grandmas fuck videos
  • shemale sex in singapore
  • erotic sex crypt
  • Hard porn pussy
  • mature free xxx cartoon pics
  • strong legs girls porn
  • Hot models tits
  • black white ass sex
  • girl forced to lick pussy videos
  • Cherokee d ass naked
  • naked vanessa hudges pics
  • mauritian sex video
  • porno mature pussy
  • sexy high quality teen pics
  • mom interracial gallery
  • free download hentai sex movie
  • sick sex pictures
  • deep pussy insertion pics
  • on line sex swap pics free
  • Teens with small tits
  • maria canals barrera ass
  • naked male gallery
  • couples engaging in sex
  • baby face young teen
  • shemale free porn videos
  • mature couples who seduce teenage girls
  • free mpeg of oral sex
  • xxx brother sister sex stories
  • amateur couples making love video
  • very very young girl galleries
  • blowjob home movie
  • mature vs young thumbs
  • ass worship video
  • jilbab porn movie
  • passive white chicks fuck black dicks
  • blonde has vaginal sex
  • petite dress forms
  • fuck wife video free
  • teen jungle girls
  • sucking of nipples video
  • free young pussy and tit thumbs
  • amateur wives mpegs
  • tori black prince yahshua video
  • free big tits granny porn movies
  • La salle sex scandal video
  • young brazilian teens porn
  • pretty young models bikini
  • amateur and video and real
  • teen girl on teen
  • sexy girls with big ass
  • Holly madison nude videos
  • real first time lesbian sex
  • gang bang free video bestiality
  • lesbians and shemale vids
  • erotic dancers galleries
  • bald very young lesbi
  • crying from anal fuck
  • breyer and black beauty