payday loans
7th Apr, 2010

In Between

Archie was supposed to participate in the Special Olympics Spring Games at Furman University today, but instead he’s home sick, watching television in the other room. Last night he started throwing up all over himself, all over me, all over his dad and all over our house. He’s stopped now, but he has big black circles under his eyes and he’s as white as a sheet of paper.

Yesterday afternoon we’d meticulously pieced together our family’s game plan for this morning. My dad would take a day off work, and he and my mom would swing by here to pick up Archie and drive him across town so he’d be assured to arrive at Furman on time. I’d take Kit and Jack to school at St. Mary Magdalene’s and then turn around and drive the seventeen miles to the college’s campus, pulling up in time for the opening ceremonies. My brother and his wife planned to join us as well to cheer Archie on and celebrate his abilities and potential. Archie would wear his Wheaties t-shirt, I’d planned, and the new sneakers my parents bought for him last weekend.

But this life, it had other plans.

While that’s disappointing, it also feels as if it’s an appropriate turn of events these days. Lately everything’s been coming in all askew and askance, turned sideways or upside-down or not turning out at all, no matter what. Sometimes that means events go better than I anticipated, or sometimes it means that they don’t or won’t or just plain can’t after all. I don’t know why things are happening this way, but I do know it makes me feel anxious. It’s as if I’ve found myself trapped between periods and commas and I’m not really sure which thought to follow through first.

I may be seeking out my transition, but I do know something about conclusions and yesterday I offered this thought as the dénouement to a conversation I was sharing with a friend: “If it’s not happy, then it’s not the end.”

This morning that friend came back to me and explained, “I was thinking about what you said and I disagree. I think sometimes it’s just the end.” And then he shrugged like he usually does when he says something he anticipates is beyond all objections and rebuttals, his arms extended with both palms turned upward, both elbows set on a different slope so neither is particularly perpendicular to his body.

I tried to argue with him, but his mind was made up and it was early and I was still sleepy and struggling to find the words I needed to speak about everything I wanted to say. We left it like that, he right and I wrong, but later in my car I thought about something I’d heard on the radio yesterday morning.

Forty years ago a group of friends concealed a car behind a brick wall in the basement of a house. The car stayed behind that wall until the new owner of the house discovered it while he was looking throw a hole in the bricks. It turns out that the car was buried simply as something to do when the friends received it from a car dealer they knew, after he acquired it from a man passing through town who couldn’t afford to pay for the necessary repairs to get the car going again after it broke down. They thought it would be funny, one of the friends explained to the reporter who covered the story. “All this time, we’ve been waiting.”

These periods and commas I’ve been trying to string together, they feel like a pause inserted in a sentence to give me time to consider the consequences of a statement. I feel anticipatory. I wonder if someday soon I’ll stumble through the routine of my day only to arrive at the end of one thought and the beginning of another, at a transition where someone will welcome me with an outstretched hand and say, smiling, “All this time, we’ve been waiting for you.”

But today Archie lays on his stomach in the thinking room, by the foot of a leather chair, glassy-eyed and drowsy. He’s not awake but he’s not really sleeping either. The television that’s turned on upstairs echoes the television that’s turned on downstairs, and from where Archie lies I know he can hear the Ferocious Beast and Mr. Shimmers speak a beat faster upstairs than they do downstairs.

In the hallway next to Archie is a discarded piece of drawing paper, one of the maps his brother drew last night. Upon it is a twisting, turning line connecting one corner of the paper to another, a beginning and an end marked by disproportionate dots scribbled in pencil. When I asked Jack where the map leads he answered earnestly, “No where.”

“No where?” I repeated, looking for clarification. “Don’t you mean somewhere?”

“Yeah, yeah. Somewhere,” Jack answered, shaking his head up and down. “Or maybe no where.”

Outside in our driveway my station wagon is covered by yellow pollen, as thick as a blanket. Underneath the car’s carriage the pollen floats like spiraling, stellar arms swirling around a singular puddle left behind by the sprinklers that irrigate our yard in the early dark of each morning.

Responses

Oh Archie, I am so sorry I gave you that nasty bug. You will feel better soon. You handle illnesses better than any of us.
Anne, I totally agree with you. I think it has to be happy to be the end. At least that’s what I try to live by. I guess it depends on the individual though.
I think we all feel trapped at times but it passes. Life really needs those twists and turns to make it interesting. Hang in there. Things will be clear again.
Love, NaNa

Leave a response

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Categories

  • Hot bikini naked
  • hot girl touching boobs
  • Sex scenes boobs
  • youngest teenz perfect ass
  • old ebony pussy
  • top black tits ass pussy
  • girls caught making out video
  • young teen girls and big dicks
  • innocent japanese girl video
  • real blonde teen
  • little teen free porn movies
  • free pictures of black milf
  • free porn gigagalleries
  • free ass gallerys
  • teen threesomw movies
  • teenage girl bedroom themes
  • withe girls who suck black cock
  • amazing english teen shemale
  • erin andrews naked video
  • man united in japan videos
  • big dicks in asian puss
  • quality porn movies
  • vaginal birth sex oral
  • japanese beauty net
  • Inside a real vagina
  • new years fuck party
  • talk to naked girl
  • short video naked older women
  • personal sex movies
  • short girls topless
  • blacks dicks white teen mpgs
  • free oral sex positions pictures
  • nude black girls exercise video
  • Irish teen pussy
  • naked woman on top sex
  • dick naked shlong
  • watch bikini movies
  • Girls with phat pussy
  • russian teens home made sex
  • hot pussy tits sex
  • free xxx hardcore vidoes
  • nipples lesbians play
  • teen lesbians anal sex
  • please bang my wife free movies
  • will young video
  • Hot rides and girls
  • Sexy naked girl porn
  • furry sex teens
  • gy style pussy ass fuck
  • sexy amateur english milf
  • teen porn black
  • sexy girls wrapped in blankets
  • small tiny teen girls naked
  • fingering a vagina video
  • self taken picture pussy
  • small tits massage video
  • pictures of pornstar stasha
  • texas fuck party
  • mature movies on redtube
  • free wet pussy photos
  • amateur blonde pussy
  • orn stars fuck black man
  • sexy glee girls
  • home movie big butt
  • demi moore hairy pussy pics
  • free fat teen pussy gallaries
  • big dick in miget chicks
  • asian and pantyhose pictures
  • free ebony creampie videos
  • jenn cock ripped virgin pussy
  • pretty young ladies pics
  • girl sex wth hsi
  • wife swap episodes lesbian mother
  • black milkshake video
  • teen video upload
  • comic sex videos
  • gemma atkinson nipples galleries
  • Tanya james nude pics
  • moms eat teen pussy clit pics
  • real mature couples pictures
  • free black anal hd teen porn
  • german sex pictures
  • latina handjob vids
  • free porn videos flicks
  • perfectly round ass pics
  • masturbating ebony teens
  • blonde girls getting fucked
  • asian tgirl brides
  • wives fucking hubands in the ass
  • black ass pussy and tits
  • vietnam sex video
  • lesbian asian movi es
  • compare white and black butt
  • transsexual working girl
  • slutty teens fuck
  • Huge breast asian
  • movies large breasts
  • pictures classic porn stars
  • hot hot xxx sex
  • thi shemale moo videos
  • mature kamasutra porn tube videos
  • hot young bodies videos
  • weing anal videos
  • wife movies sex
  • teen girl fucked gallery
  • sexy questions for couples
  • user submitted homemade mature women videos
  • nice tight black ass sluts
  • big boobs skinny girls
  • horney amateur cock sucker pictures
  • anime lesbiens with huge breasts
  • drug aict porn videos
  • girlgirl anal abby winters rar
  • teen panty alog pics
  • amateur girls free breasts sexy
  • edward burns naked pictures
  • young bouncing boobs
  • Teen abuse video
  • men sex fun video free
  • sisters blowjob videos
  • pussy of hot girls
  • girls fingering to orgasim
  • amateur porn vieo
  • black women pussy fuck
  • hentai movie sex galleries
  • reality sex pics free
  • young teen dresses
  • isabella soprano anal porn
  • Girls kiss tongue
  • stds oral sex
  • free boobs big boobs videos
  • girl wrestling xxx
  • sex devil video
  • intimate sex vids
  • petite jeune filles
  • free naked fat girls pictures
  • dy fucks young teen daughter
  • caught my wife doing it pics
  • webcam tit flashing tube
  • secrect family sex videos
  • alt porn galleries
  • anal dilatated girls pictures
  • hardcore teen anal videos
  • american girl music video
  • d nipple tits videos
  • Fast ass shake
  • giant black butts free videos
  • Direct sex live video
  • how to pull a girl videos
  • Videos teen free sex download
  • Bella teen burg
  • mature teaching girl lesbian porn
  • black sex nude pics
  • teen panty girls
  • shaved juicy teen pussy
  • female bodybuilder naked pictures
  • sister best friend sex video
  • wool coats in petite sizes
  • vaion tits xxx
  • pitcuers of nude young college girls
  • married couples house partys
  • heidi montag bikini video
  • xxx teen sex viedo
  • oral cream pie video
  • school girl porn vids
  • Ebony pussy galleries
  • lesbian strap on sex porn videos
  • suzanne pleshette nude pictures breasts
  • dancing naked girls video
  • Feet sex photos
  • wife erotic session
  • cum suck movie compilation
  • tyler faith interracial porn
  • real black couples having sex
  • young male movies sex
  • free download porn video for
  • fuck blonde teenies slutload
  • fucking sex xxx
  • porn psp videos
  • Man having sex with a girl
  • sex starved college girls tubes
  • free teen lesbian
  • Free online teen lesbian porn
  • mature dump xxx videos
  • free teen angels galleries
  • blowjob video hot tub
  • black female cartoon pictures
  • webcam boobs tube
  • sexy estonian babes
  • sexy glamour girl video
  • gy style anal fingering
  • japanese girl with dicks comics
  • girls eating pussy and cum
  • young japenesse girls
  • enormous tits gallery
  • free tight little pussy
  • nude pics of young celbertys
  • Indian ladies nude pics
  • naked in sweden video
  • british swingers club video
  • harcore lesbian porn videos
  • free rachel steele porn videos
  • jennifer aniston topless gallery
  • amateur sex videos ass asian
  • barely leagle black girls
  • black thugs fuck white boy
  • passed out sleeping party girls
  • anal sex marriage bed
  • Sex picture and video
  • Naked older lesbians
  • latino girl with big tits
  • topless girls low rise jeans
  • Lesbians gone wild videos
  • North indian hot sex
  • naked and nasty movie
  • hairy pussy thai beauties
  • flat butt pictures
  • young girls tied and gagged videos
  • French cum sex
  • trailers xxx tits
  • Tranny sex pictures
  • skirt girls teen
  • huge black dickc movies
  • tiny tit teen fuck movie
  • pictures anal sex for beginners
  • pussy rub down
  • hardcore methhead sex vids
  • free decent sex videos
  • boobs porn football girls
  • little girls red pussy
  • amateur free porn video
  • sexy blonde pole dancer
  • shower handjob videos
  • japanese boy fingering mom video
  • bigtit asian movies
  • Miss teen jr pageants nude
  • Huge boob cleavage
  • free big bubble butt movies
  • mature adult video
  • young tube teen
  • naked young boy girl
  • harry pussy clit licker tits
  • teen fingers prostate till orgasm
  • free porn movies school girls
  • christian wife and husband sex life
  • miriam free hardcore pics
  • index of teen gallery
  • lesbian sucking tits picture
  • do wives want anal sex
  • Reshma sex scenes
  • vampire porn vids
  • knife throwing naked girl
  • reverse cow girl sex
  • my phat pussy
  • sex video for pc
  • amatuer wife oral gangbang tube
  • inside a pussy looking out
  • Pussy grinding video
  • free mature and youngporn
  • free black pussy lickers
  • hot black haird girl fucked
  • College teen sex
  • geedy video wife
  • orgasam teen sex tubes
  • Sexy girls from lahore
  • gothic school girl porn
  • big pussy porn ebony milf latina
  • Pennis and vagina
  • natural babe hairy pussy
  • Russian girls naked photos
  • free interracial amature sex video
  • girls eating themselves videos
  • beer and pussy
  • young and natural teens
  • skinny young blonde girl tube
  • petite adult actress
  • fine girls gallery
  • sell your amateur porn
  • sensual erotic teens videos
  • Vagina smell better
  • her baseball pants pussy sex
  • Kerala girls nude
  • free pussy banging movie trailers
  • do married women enjoy anal sex
  • best naked sex pics
  • asian hardcore pornography
  • mature russian movies
  • playboy girls of the sex
  • free videos of kat young
  • down blouse sexy tits
  • sex black wiesbaden mainz georgine
  • ben xxx porn
  • ways to give successful oral sex
  • sexy brunette teen anal
  • sex stories real young
  • madonna nude teen pictures
  • Couple live sex
  • softcore couples sex videos
  • video of creampie other wife
  • shailene woodley bikini galleries
  • Sexy naked lesbian pics
  • asain lesbian ass
  • Fist time anal sex
  • teen girls with large tits
  • Car sex movie
  • lesbian sex hot movies
  • awesome multiple orgasm video
  • free videos max hardcore
  • asian girl fucked guys
  • girl tied and force to suck
  • girls showers vids
  • pussy dolls dontcha
  • anal exam xxx
  • Sex positions for couples
  • Rate my nude pics
  • black cum in wife
  • baseball bat in girls pussy
  • long free young old lesbian movies
  • nastyboards blowjob videos
  • naked girls having sex vid
  • little girls and boys porn
  • Girls with sex toys
  • sexiest pictures of naked girls
  • lesbian ass cum lick
  • free videos amateur orgasm sex
  • pussy cumshots videos
  • the naked truth sitcom cast pictures
  • nichole smith pussy
  • male orgasm movies
  • amateur bukkake galleries
  • japanese porn men
  • grandpa fuck young
  • simpsons porn sex video free
  • Sexy ass on beach
  • my latin sex girl
  • older wives porn
  • young babes fuck
  • tight ass fucking lesbians
  • little girle sex
  • mom licking teen pussy
  • pussy fuck vids download
  • sex offender kept girl in t
  • swingers parties home videos
  • porn videos shared free
  • free hantai porn videos
  • hot teen babes huge tits
  • amature mature hairy women movies
  • asian teen girl white cock sex
  • free european erotic videos
  • thailand porn movies
  • free secure sex videos
  • Disney girl nude
  • hot italtian pussy
  • bikini teens pornhub
  • Latina first time anal
  • free light skinned black pussy vid
  • black eyed peas end concert pictures
  • passed out drunk naked girls
  • sex cartoons black and white comics
  • fresh shemale movies free
  • lesbian pussy pink
  • young and horny wives
  • free amateur pants pissing videos
  • Big asses walking
  • hardcore xxx video archive
  • brittney spears shows her pussy
  • sexy blondes with small tits
  • drunk sex video red tube
  • aged black mature tubes
  • french school girl fuck
  • free shemale fuck galleries
  • teenage hardcore sex
  • cameltoe teen sex movies
  • twins suck black cock
  • amater naked wife
  • Paula abdul nude photo
  • blowjob nonconsensual sex stories
  • pictures of young models
  • brother sister and girlfriend porn
  • Free teen video hot arap
  • sex tit dickless pee
  • Blonde sex pictures
  • old white sluts loves black dick
  • beautiful black fuck
  • petite kit pussy
  • tube videos mandingo anal
  • black shemale torrent
  • lindsey naked pics
  • bloodie pussy xxx sluts
  • naked vulcan girls
  • videos teen girlfriend nude
  • natives girl pics
  • nude teen lesbian hall of fame
  • sexy dance video porn
  • forced anal sex free video
  • large black porn
  • biker rally babes get pussy shaved
  • free shemale videos long play
  • sauna sex girl
  • Sweet lesbian pussy